I sat up on the bed and pulled the sheets up around me, covering my vulnerability. I stared at his back waiting for him to bring the fullness of the truth to light. “I don’t want to lead you on,” he said to the wall, “I don’t want you to think that we are a couple.” The truth was, that I knew we were not a couple. The truth was, that what we shared was the past. Oh, but how I wanted to live the lie, if only for a night. I struggled to fight back my sobs as I searched for the right words to say. Finally, I mustered up what little dignity I had left and asked, “How can you say that you don’t feel comfortable letting me spend the night, but yet you felt comfortable enough to have sex with me?” He turned his head, looking at me out of the corner of his eye. His answer was the final insult to my integrity. His answer was the very essence of a lie. A lie he expected me to believe as truth. “I have to get up early in the morning and I don’t want to have you miss out on any sleep because of. ”When I heard her sniffle, I turned to look and realized that she’d been crying.“It hit me like a hammer or something. The only time I’ve ever seen you cry since you were little was at the funeral. It made me think about Sam and Wendy being in the car with me and... and...”Tears started streaming down her face, and I got up to sit down next to her. She buried her face in my shoulder and cried. I wrapped my arms around her and stroked her hair as she sobbed, until she leaned back with a shuddering sigh.“I’m s-sorry,” she said while looking into my eyes.“It’s okay,” I said, and then wiped away a tear meandering down her cheek.“I didn’t think about who else I could have hurt, or how you and Mom and Dad would have felt, or anything. I’m so stupid.”I shook my head. “You’re not stupid. You just made a mistake, and I think you get that now.”She nodded and sniffled.“Feel better?”She gave me a weak smile. “Sort of.” Then she wiped her eyes and said, “God, I must look ugly.”“You’re not.
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